Turning My Dream to Reality (Almost)

I'm both excited and nervous. Excited because the idea of a cartoon series that I had over five years ago is coming to fruition. Watching television shows kept reinforcing my belief that my cartoon story is so much better. That if my show was on TV instead of theirs it would be more appealing. And so here I am more than halfway into publishing my first episode and I'm doubting whether it will appeal to even one person. And that's been my journey all along.

I don't recall the exact show I was watching but my disinterest in the show made me question, "How could someone produce such a bad show?" "Surely anyone can do a better job."

Anyone?

I'm anyone!

My mind started thinking of characters, plots, settings, and scenes. Each additional piece I thought of made me confident that I was that "anyone" who will create the next big TV hit show. After I imagined the entire series from beginning to end I had a cocky grin on my face because I had done it. I had the hit show not yet on TV. I'm sure folks that saw me in pubic probably thought I was a creep.

That grin disappeared when I began to think of how to illustrate what I had inside my head. I had no budget to even consider looking for a professional artist. By default I assumed I would draw the cartoon myself but I was discouraged by the thought of drawing many images to produce a single animation movement. And I thought of giving up.

But then I figured that if I used a 3-D animation program I do not have to worry about doing multiple drawings since I need to mold the 3-D character once. Thereafter I need to move the 3-D object instead of drawing it. I must have come up with this solution from seeing a 3-D animated movie. As quickly as I got inspired I also quickly became discouraged. These software programs are probably expensive and out of my budget of $20. No way could I have access to such technology. Yet when I searched for “free 3-D software” I came across one: Blender.

And so I downloaded the software program and when I first opened it I was bombarded with all the different views and options. I told myself “this is way too much” and exited the program. I left it untouched on my laptop for over a year. I had given up. But the itch never went away. I started tinkering with the program. I watched tutorials online and began learning how to interact with the program slowly but surely. I watched countless hours of tutorials videos from beginners and experts. Some of these instructors were even younger than me. As young elementary school! I put my shame aside and listened to what these young lads had to teach. I constantly paused to try to follow along what they were showing and create along with them. I could not replicate what they did on my computer. It just never looked as good as theirs. But I continued to learn.

And guess what? I am still learning how to use Blender. I've become comfortable using the interface and building objects. Enough at least to create the characters and settings I want. Nothing complex but definitely to my liking. All it takes is not giving up. All these years of telling myself I can't but later convincing myself that maybe I can has paid off. I wish I had stopped doubting myself all this time. Maybe then I could have arrived at this point a lot sooner.

And so now it's time to test out my arrogance. I've always thought my show is better than most TV shows. It is a very scary and humbling point where I have to hold my “show” up to the standard I criticized others. The image on top shows what I currently have in the works. I hope to soon upload this scene and many more but it is taking time. Time and not giving up. So far I am still learning and building away.

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